"Drawing on my fine command| of language, I said nothing."
"He flung himself on his horse| and rode madly off in all directions..."
"He walks as if balancing| the family tree on his nose."
"I've given up reading books;| I find it takes my mind off myself."
"It was a book to kill time| for those who liked it better dead."
"There are more ways of killing a cat| than choking her with cream."
"When you are in it up to your ears,| keep your mouth shut."
"Worth seeing? Yes,| but not worth going to see."
"Youth had been a habit of hers| so long that she could not part with it."
A billion here, a billion there-|pretty soon it adds up to real money!||- Everett Dirkson
A bird in the hand|is worth what it will bring.
A clean, neat, and orderly work place|is a sure sign of a sick mind.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A generation which ignores|history has no past - and no future.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A little Madness in the Spring,|Is wholesome even for the King.||- Emily Dickinson
A lost ounce of gold may be found,|a lost moment of time never.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man's homeland is wherever he prospers.||- Aristophanes
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A professor is one who talks|in someone else's sleep.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A ship in harbor is safe-|but that is not what ships are for.||- John A. Shedd
A signature always reveals a man's character-|and sometimes even his name.||- Evan Esar
A thing not worth doing|isn't worth doing well.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.||- Keats
A wise man can see more from a mountain top|than a fool can from the bottom of a well.
Accident:|| A condition in which presence of mind is good,| but absence of body is better.
According to the latest official figures,|43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Accuracy:|| The vice of being right
Acting is an art which consists of|keeping the audience from coughing.
Admiration:|| Our polite recognition of another's| resemblance to ourselves.
Adult:|| One old enough to know better.
Afternoon:|| That part of the day we spend worrying| about how we wasted the morning.
Alia jacta est. (The die is cast.)||- Julius Caesar| after crossing the Rubicon
All cats are gray in the dark.||- Benjamin Franklin
All excellent thing are as|difficult as they are rare.||- Benedict Spinoza
All serious daring starts from within.||- Eudora Welty
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence,|and then success is sure.||- Mark Twain
Always yield to temptation,|for it may not pass your way again.
Ambition is a poor excuse for|not having sense enough to be lazy.||- Charlie McCarthy
An authority is somebody who can tell you|more about something than you really care to know.
An egotist is a person of low taste,|more interested in himself than in me.||- Ambrose Bierce
An honest politician is one who,|when bought, stays bought.
An idea is not responsible|for the people who believe in it.
Anthony's Law of Force:|| Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Antonym:|| The opposite of the word| you're trying to think of.
Any given program:|| Will expand to fill all available resources.
Any given program:|| Once running, is obsolete.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
April hath put a spirit of|youth in every thing.||- William Shakespeare
As a goat herd learns his trade by goat,|so a writer learns his trade by wrote.
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality,|they are not certain; and as far as they are certain,|they do not refer to reality.||- Einstein
As the trials of life continue to take their toll,|remember that there is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
Barometer:|| An ingenious instrument which indicates| what kind of weather we are having.
Be like a postage stamp- stick to|one thing until you get there.||- Josh Billings
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Better attitudes through chemistry.||- Bruce
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool|than to speak and remove all doubt.
Better to use medicines at the outset|than at the last moment.
Between two evils,|I always pick the one I never tried before.||- Mae West.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.||- Thoreau
Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles,|for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
Bourgeois morality is largely a system of making|cheap virtues a cloak for expensive vices.||- George Bernard Shaw
Brain:|| The apparatus with which we think that we think.
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
By following the good, you learn to be good.
Bye's First Law of Model Railroading:|| Anytime you wish to demonstrate something,| the number of faults encountered is proportional| to the number of viewers.
Cabbage:|| A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable| about as large and wise as a man's head.
California is a fine place to live -|if you happen to be an orange.||- Fred Allen
Carelessly planned projects take three times longer|to complete than expected; carefully planned projects|only twice as long.
Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you;|if you don't bet, you can't win.
Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents|despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Children seldom misquote you.|In fact, they usually repeat word for word|what you shouldn't have said.
Chisolm's Third Law, Corollary 1:|| If you explain so clearly that no one| can misunderstand, somebody will.
Chisolm's Third Law, Corollary 2:|| If you do something which you are sure| will meet with everyone's approval,| somebody won't like it.
Civilization is a method of|living, an attitude of equal|respect for all men.||- Jane Addams
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -|"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."||- Ambrose Bierce
Collaboration:|| A literary partnership based on the| false assumption that the other| fellow can spell.
Condense soup, not books!
Conscience is the inner voice|that warns us somebody is looking.
Conversation enriches the understanding,|but solitude is the soul of genius.
Conversation:|| A vocal competition in which the one who| is catching his breath is called the listener.
Coward:|| One who in a perilous emergency| thinks with his legs.
Cynic:|| One who looks through rose-colored glasses| with a jaundiced eye.
Dawn:|| The time when men of reason go to bed.
Deliberation:|| The act of examining one's bread| to determine which side it is buttered on.
Democracy is a form of government in which|it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country|could do under first-class management.||- Senator Soaper
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy"|until you can find a rock.
Do not clog intellect's sluices|with knowledge of questionable uses.
Do not drink coffee in early A.M.|It will keep you awake until noon.
Do not worry about whether or not the sun will shine.|Just be prepared to enjoy it.
Don's Axiom:|| When all else fails,| read the instructions.
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
Don't believe everything you hear|or anything you say.
Don't get yourself involved with|persons or situations that can't bear inspection.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Don't keep doing what doesn't work.
Don't tell any big lies today.|Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't try to have the last word.|You might get it.
Don't worry over what other people|are thinking about you. They're too busy|worrying over what you are thinking about them.
Don't wrestle a pig in a mud hole.|You both get all dirty, and the pig enjoys it.
Down with categorical imperatives!
Duct tape is like the force.|It has a light side, a dark side,|and it holds the universe together....||- Carl Zwanzig
Due to a shortage of devoted followers,|the production of great leaders has been discontinued.
Economy makes men independent.
Education's purpose is to replace an|empty mind with an open one.||- Malcom S. Forbes
Electricity travels a foot in a nanosecond.||- Commodore Grace Murray Hopper, USN
Eschew clever rules.||- Jon Condon, Bell Labs
Even if the story isn't true, it|does have a grain of sense and|instruction to it, and it's entertaining|as well, so it's worth the telling.
Even the boldest zebra|fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle|burns brighter in the dark.
Every purchase has its price.
Every successful person has had|failures but repeated failure is|no guarantee of eventual success.
Everyone complains of his memory,|no one of his judgment.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything we call real is made of|things that cannot be regarded as real.||- Neils Bohr
Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
Experience is that marvelous thing|that enables you recognize a mistake|when you make it again.||- F. P. Jones
Experiments should be reproducible,|they should all fail in the same way.
Expertise in one field does not|carry over into other fields.|But experts often think so.
Faith goes out through the window|when beauty comes in at the door.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Familiarity breeds.
Far duller than a serpent's tooth|it is to spend a quiet youth.
Fashion is a form of ugliness|so intolerable that we have|to alter it every six months.||- Oscar Wilde
Few people are successful unless|a lot of other people want them to be.||- Charles Brower
Finagle's First Law:|| If an experiment works,| something has gone wrong.
Finagle's Fourth Law:|| Once a job is messed up, anything done| to improve it makes it worse.
First Law of Advice:|| The correct advice is| to give the advice| that is desired.
Fortune truly helps those|who are of good judgment.
From listening comes wisdom|and from speaking repentance.
Furious activity is|no substitute for understanding.||- H. H. Williams
Genetics explains why you|look like your father,|and if you don't, why you should.
Genius is an infinite|capacity for taking pains.||- Jane Ellice Hopkins
Give what you have.|To someone it may be better|than you dare to think.||- Longfellow
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,|and remember what value there may be|in owning a piece thereof.
God does not play dice with the universe.||- Einstein
God forbid that I should be|out of debt, as if, indeed I|could not be trusted.||- Rebelais
God gives us relatives;|thank God we can chose our friends.
Good judgment comes from experience,|and experience comes from bad judgment.||- Fred Brooks| University of North Carolina
Gumperson's Law:|| The probability of anything happening| is inversely proportional to its desirability.
Happiness is just an illusion,|filled with sadness and confusion.
He is happiest who hath power|to gather wisdom from a flower.||- Mary Howitt
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is truly wise who gains|wisdom from another's mishap.
He that can have patience|can have what he will.||- Benjamin Franklin
He who falls in love with himself|will have no rivals.
He who has a shady past|knows that nice guys finish last.
He who has a why to live for|can bear with almost any how.||- Nietzsche
He who has had, has been,|but he who hasn't been, has been had.
He who has imagination|without learning has wings but no feet.
He who is good for making excuses|is seldom good for anything else.
He who laughs last|probably doesn't understand the joke.
Here comes the orator,|with his flood of words|and his drop of reason.
Hindsight is an exact science.
History books which contain|no lies are extremely dull.
History doesn't repeat itself.|Historians merely repeat each other.
Horse sense is the thing a horse|has which keeps it from betting on people.||- W.C. Fields
How can a man die with|sage in his garden?
How many "coming men" has one known!|Where on earth do they all go to?
I don't have any solution|but I certainly admire the problem.||- Ashleigh Brilliant
I like the word `indolence.'|It makes my laziness seem classy.||- Bern Williams
I may not be totally perfect,|but parts of me are excellent.||- Ashleigh Brilliant
I never met a man I didn't like.||- Will Rogers
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly.|I said I don't know.||- Mark Twain
I'm a great believer in luck.|The harder I work the more I have of it.||- Thomas Jefferson
I'm opposed to millionaires, but|it would be dangerous to offer me the position.||- Mark Twain
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
If I had only known,|I would have been a locksmith.||- Albert Einstein
If a program is useful,|it will have to be changed.
If a program is useless,|it will have to be documented.
If a system doesn't have to be reliable,|it can do anything else.||- H. H. Williams
If all the year were playing holidays,|to sport would be as tedious as to work.||- Wm Shakespeare
If at first you don't succeed,|give up; no use being a damn fool.
If at first you don't succeed,|try something else.
If at first you don't succeed,|you're doing about average.
If computers take over (which seems to be|their natural tendency), it will serve us right.||- Alistair Cooke.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.||- Ronald Reagan
If little else, the brain|is an educational toy.||- Tom Robbins
If one does not fail at times,|then one has not challenged himself.||- Dr. Porsche
If some people didn't tell you,|you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.
If someone had told me|I would be Pope one day,|I would have studied harder.||- Pope John Paul I
If we do not change our direction|we are likely to end up where we are headed.
If we learn for each success, and each failure,|and improve ourselves through this process,|then, at the end, we will have fulfilled our|potential and performed well.||- Dr. Porsche
If you always postpone pleasure|you will never have it.
If you can spend a perfectly useless|afternoon in a perfectly useless manner,|you have learned how to live.||- Lin Yutang
If you can't say something nice,|say something surrealistic.||- Zippy the Pinhead
If you continually give|you will continually have.
If you have too many special cases,|you are doing it wrong.||- Craig Zerouni, Computer FX Ltd.
If you lie to the computer, it will get you.||- Perry Farrar
If you make a mistake you right|it immediately to the best of your ability.
If you make people think they're thinking,|they'll love you; but if you really make|them think they'll hate you.
If you put your supper dish to your ear|you can hear the sounds of a restaurant.||- Snoopy
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
If you would keep a secret from an enemy,|tell it not to a friend.
Ignorance doesn't kill you, but|it makes you sweat a lot.||- Haitian Proverb
Imagination is the one weapon|in the war against reality.||- Jules de Gaultier
In a family argument,|if it turns out you are right -|apologize at once!
In case of doubt,|make it sound convincing.
In matters of conscience,|the law of majority has not place.||- Mohandas Gandhi
In times like these, it helps to|recall that there have always been|times like these.||- Paul Harvey
Incompetence knows no barriers|of time or place.
Ingrate:|| A man who bites the hand that feeds him,| and then complains of indigestion.
Inside every big problem is|a small problem trying to get out.
Internal consistency is|more highly valued than efficiency.
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.||- Andrew W. Mathis
It is better to have loved|and lost than to have hated and won.
It is easier to get|forgiveness than permission.
It is far better to be deceived|than to be undeceived by those we love.
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly|unless one has plenty of work to do.
It is impossible to get anywhere|without sinning against reason.||- Einstein
It is impossible to make anything|foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
It is morally wrong|to allow suckers to keep their money.
It is much easier to suggest solutions|when you know nothing about the problem.
It is not enough to have a good mind.|The main thing is to use it well.||- Descartes
It is not only what we do, but|also what we do not do|for which we are accountable.||- Moliere
It is the business of the future|to be dangerous.||- Hawkwind
It seems like the less a statesman|amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
It takes both a weapon,|and two people, to commit a murder.
It's a good thing we don't|get all the government we pay for.||- Will Rogers
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's always easy to see both sides|of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom"|resembles being too tired.
It's not reality that's important,|but how you perceive things.
It's sweet to be remembered,|but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
Jargon is used as a means of|succeeding by not simplifying.
Jones' Motto:|| Friends may come and go,| but enemies accumulate.
Just because you're paranoid|doesn't mean they're not really after you.
Just because your doctor has|a name for your condition doesn't|mean he knows what it is.
Justice:|| A decision in your favor.
Kin:|| An affliction of the blood.
Kitman's Law:|| Pure drivel tends| to drive away ordinary drivel.
La vache qui rit est jolie.|(Laughing cows are pretty.)
Law of Communications:|| The result of improved and enlarged| communications is a vastly increased| area of misunderstanding.
Learning isn't a means to an end;|it is an end in itself.||- Robert A. Heinlein
Lend money to a bad debtor|and he will hate you.
Let a fool hold his tongue|and he will pass for a sage.
Lie:|| A very poor substitute for the truth,| but the only one discovered to date.
Life has a value only when it|has something valuable as its object.||- Hegel
Life is like an onion:| you peel off layer after layer,| then you find there is nothing in it.
Life itself is a race, marked by a start,|and a finish. It is what we learn during|the race, and how we apply it, that|determines whether our participation|has had particular value.||- Dr. Porsche
Lord Falkland's Rule:|| When it is not necessary to make a decision,| it is necessary not to make a decision.
Love and scandal are|the best sweeteners of tea.
Mad:|| Affected with a high degree| of intellectual independence
Man and wife make one fool.
Man is the only animal that blushes-|or needs to.||- Mark Twain
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many a family tree needs trimming.
Marriage is the only adventure|open to the cowardly.||- Voltaire
Menu:|| A list of dishes which the| restaurant has just run out of.
Misery loves company,|but company does not reciprocate.
Misfortune:|| The kind of fortune that never misses.
Mistakes are oft|the stepping stones to failure.
Monday:|| In Christian countries,| the day after the football game.
Money cannot buy love,|nor even friendship.
Money is the root of all evil,|and man needs roots.
Money is truthful.|If a man speaks of his honor,|make him pay cash.
Money may be the husk of many things,|but not the kernel.||- Henrik Ibsen
Money may buy friendship|but money cannot buy love.
Money will say more in one moment|than the most eloquent lover can in years.
Moral:|| Design before you implement.
Morality is a disease which progresses|in three stages: virtue-boredom-syphilis.||-Karl Kraus
My interest is in the future|because I am going to spend|the rest of my life there.
Never appeal to a man's "better nature".|He may not have one.
Never call a man a fool;|borrow from him.
Never put off till tomorrow|what you can avoid all together.
Never say you know a man until|you have divided an inheritance with him.
Never test for an error condition|you don't know how to handle.
Never underestimate|the power of human stupidity.
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
No generalization is true-|not even this one.
No one ever listened himself out of a job.||- Calvin Coolidge
Nobody can be as agreeable|as an uninvited guest.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not only does God play dice with the universe,|but sometimes he throws them where they cannot be seen.||- Stephen Hawking
Not only is the Universe stranger than we think,|it is stranger than we can think.||- Werner Heisenberg
Nothing astonishes men so much|as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.||- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing great was ever|achieved without enthusiasm.||- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing is impossible for the man|who doesn't have to do it himself.
Now and then an innocent man|is sent to the legislature.
Ocean:|| A body of water occupying about| two-thirds of a world made for man-| who has no gills.
Of all forms of caution,|caution in love is the most fatal.
Often statistics are used|as a drunken man uses lamp posts-|for support rather than illumination.
Oh, what tangled webs we weave|When we first practice to deceive.||- Sir Walter Scott
Old men are fond of giving|good advice to console themselves|for their inability to give bad examples.
On y soit, qui mal y pense.|(You are what you think.)
One family builds a wall,|two families enjoy it.
One man tells a falsehood,|a hundred repeat it as true.
One person's constant is|another person's variable.||- Susan Gerhart| Micorelectronics and| Computer Technology Corp
Only a sadistic scoundrel- or a fool-|tells the bald truth on social occasions.
Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
Our bodies are our gardens, to which|our wills are gardeners.||- William Shakespeare
Ours is a world where people|don't know what they want and|are willing to go through hell to get it.
PI seconds is a nanocentury.||- Tom Duff, Bell Labs
Parkinson's First Law:|| Work expands to fill the| time available for its completion.
Parkinson's Second Law:|| Expenditures rise to meet income.
Patience is something that you admire|greatly in the driver behind you|but not in the one ahead of you.
People who have no faults are terrible;|there is no way of taking advantage of them.
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Preserve the old, but know the new.
Pro is to con as|progress is to Congress.
Profanity is the one language|all programmers know best.||- Troutman's Second| Programming Postulate
Program complexity grows until|it exceeds the capability of the|programmer who must maintain it.
Promptness is its own reward,|if one lives by the clock|instead of the sword.
Proper treatment can cure|a cold in seven days-|but left to itself|it'll hang on for a week.
Pros are people who do jobs well|even when they don't feel like it.
Put not your trust in money,|but put your money in trust.
Put your brain in gear|before starting your mouth.
Read the best books first or|you may not have a change to|read them at all.||- Thoreau
Reality is a crutch for people|who can't handle science fiction.
Remember that two wrongs|do not make a right-|but that three lefts do.
Remember, even if you|win the rat race-|you're still a rat.
Reputation:|| What others are not thinking about you.
Revelation is always|measured by capacity.||- Margaret Fairless Barber
Rosebud!||- Charles Foster Kane (Orson Wells)| in Citizen Kane
Running a business is about|95% people and 5% economics.
Satire does not look pretty|upon a tombstone.
Sattinger's Law:|| It works better if you plug it in.
Sevareid's Law:|| The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Shanahan's Law:|| The length of a meeting rises| with the square of the number of people present.
Shared pain is lessened;|shared joy is increased.
Sin has many tools, but a lie|is the handle which fits them all.
Some men are discovered;|others are found out.
Some rise by sin|and some by virtue fall.
Success isn't how far you got,|but the distance you travelled|from where you started.
Sure, 90% of all software is crap.|That's because 90% of everything is crap.||- Mary Shaw| Carnegie-Mellon University
Sweer's Impossibility Theorem:|| Nothing can be both completely| general and internally consistent| at the same time.
Tact is after all a kind|of mind reading.||- Sarah Orne Jewett
Tact is rubbing out another's|mistake instead or rubbing it in.
Take care of the luxuries and|the necessities will|take care of themselves.
The DREA Law:|| Under the most rigorously controlled| conditions, the experimental apparatus| will do exactly as it pleases.
The Law of Selective Gravity|(The Buttered Side Down Law):|| An object will fall so| as to do the most damage.
The Maintainer's Motto:|| If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.||- Lt. Col. Walt Weir, USA
The Tao person|lives fully in every moment
The attacker must vanquish;|the defender need only survive.
The attempt to understand the universe|is one of the only things that elevates|the human condition from farce to|the elegance of tragedy.||- Steven Weinberg| Nobel Laureate in Physics 1979
The average woman would rather|have beauty than brains, because|the average man can see better|than he can think.
The best cure for insomnia|is a Monday morning.||- Sandy Cooley
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The best way to keep your friends|is not to give them away.
The biggest mistake that you can make|is to believe that you are working|for somebody else.
The cheapest, fastest and most|reliable components of a computer|system are those that aren't there.||- Gordon Bell| Encore Computer Corp
The cow is nothing but a machine|with makes grass fit for us people to eat.||- John McNulty
The entire sum of existence is|the magic of being needed by|just one person.||- Vii Putnam
The future is purchased by the present.||- Samuel Johnson
The goal of science is to build|better mousetraps. The goal of nature|is to build better mice.
The groundwork of all happiness is health.||- Leigh Hunt
The hardest thing is to disguise|your feelings when you put a lot|of relatives on the train for home.
The highest happiness of|man is to have probed what|is knowable and quietly to|revere what is unknowable||- Goethe
The job's not over|until the paperwork's done.
The life which is unexamined|is not worth living.||- Plato
The light of a hundred stars|does not equal the light of the moon.
The minute a man is convinced|that he is interesting, he isn't.
The only reason some people get lost|in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.||- Paul Fix
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
The past does not repeat itself,|but it rhymes.||- Mark Twain
The person who wakes up|and finds himself a success|hasn't been asleep.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The principal mark of genius|is not perfection but originality,|the opening of new frontiers.||- Arthur Koestler
The probability of someone|watching you is proportional|to the stupidity of your action.
The right to do something does|not mean that doing it is right.||- William Safire
The shortest distance between|two points is under construction.
The structure of a system reflects|the structure of the organization|that built it.||- Richard Fairley, Wang Institute
The system is not quite as rickety|as I have been telling you.||- Ralph Gorin
The truth of a proposition|has nothing to do with its credibility.|And vice versa.
The value of a program is|proportional to the weight|of its output.
The way to make a small fortune|in the commodities market is to|start with a large fortune.
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
The wise shepherd never trusts|his flock to a smiling wolf.
The years teach us much|the days never knew.||- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are few people more|often in the wrong than those|who cannot endure to be thought so.
There are more old drunkards|than old doctors.
There is a great discovery still|to be made in Literature: |that of paying literary men|by the quantity they do NOT write.
There is no force of gravity as such.|Rather, a celestial body|merely pays attention to what|it finds in its neighborhood.||- Einstein
There is no time like the present|for postponing what you ought to be doing.
There's a sucker born every minute.||- P.T. Barnum
There's always one more bug.
There's at least one fool|in every married couple.
They are able because they|think they are able.||- Virgil
Things are more like they used|to be than they are now.
Third Law of Advice:|| Simple advice is the best advice.
Those of you who think you know|everything are annoying those of us who do.
Those who are not shocked when they|first come across quantum theory,|cannot possibly have understood it.||- Neils Bohr
Those who are war with others|are not a peace with themselves.||- William Hazlitt
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do.|Those who can't, simulate.
Those who can, do.|Those who can't, teach.|Those who can't teach, administrate.
Those who flee temptation|generally leave a forwarding address.||- Lane Olinghouse
Tilting at windmills|hurts you more than the windmills.
Time flies like an arrow;|fruit flies like a banana.||- Groucho Marx
Time is nature's way of|making sure that everything|doesn't happen at once.
Time is the image of eternity.||- Diogenes
To criticize the incompetent is easy;|it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
To err is human-|to blame it on a computer|is even more so.
To keep your friends treat them kindly;|to kill them, treat them often.
To laugh at men of sense|is the privilege of fools.
To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
To think too long about doing|a thing often becomes its undoing.||- Eva Young
Trifles make perfection and|perfection is no trifle.||- Michelangelo
Trying to squash a rumor|is like trying to un-ring a bell.||- Shana Alexander
Two wrongs do not make a right: |it usually takes three or more.
Violence is the last refuge|of the incompetent.||- Salvador Hardin
We are tied down to a|language which makes up|in obscurity what it|lacks in style.
We didn't inherit the land| from our fathers.|We are borrowing it from| our children.||- Amish Belief
We have met the enemy|and not only is he ours,|he is us.||- Walt Kelly
We may not imagine how our lives|could be more frustrating and|complex- but Congress can.||- Cullen Hightower
We prefer to speak evil|of ourselves than not speak|of ourselves at all.
We promise according to|our hopes, and perform|according to our fears.
We read to say that we have read.
We really don't have any|enemies. It's just that some|of our best friends|are trying to kill us.
Wer zuletzt lacht, lacht am besten.|(He who laughs last laughs best)
Westheimer's Time Estimation Rule:|| Estimate the time you think| it should take, multiply by 2,| add 3, and change the unit of| measure to the next higher unit.
What makes us so bitter against|people who outwit us is that they|think themselves cleverer than we are.
What no spouse of a writer can|ever understand is that a writer|is working when he's staring|out the window.
What orators lack in depth|they make up in length.
What passes for woman's intuition|is often nothing more than|man's transparency.
What we love we shall grow to resemble.||- Bernard of Clairvaux
When God endowed human beings|with brains, He did not intend|to guarantee them.
When a man's willing and eager,|the gods join in.||- Aeschylus
When in doubt, use brute force.||- Ken Thompson, Bell Labs
When the government bureau's|remedies do not match your problem,|you modify the problem, not the remedy.
When the wind is great, bow before it;|when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
When working toward the solution|of a problem, it always helps|if you know the answer.
When you become used to|never being alone, you may|consider yourself Americanized.
When you go out to buy,|don't show your silver.
When you save for a long time|to buy something, then you find|that you can't afford it-|that's inflation.
When you try to make an|impression, the chances are|that is the impression|you will make.
When your work speaks|for itself, don't interrupt.
Why can't life's big problems|come when we are twenty|and know everything?
Winter is the season in which|people try to keep the house|as warm as it was in the summer,|when they complained about the heat.
With clothes the new are best,|with friends the old are best.
Without fools|there would be no wisdom.
Words must be weighed,|not counted.
You are better off not knowing|how sausages and laws are made.
You are not thinking.|You are merely being logical.||- Neils Bohr to Einstein| during a debate on Quantum Mechanics
You can go wrong by being|too skeptical as readily|as by being too trusting.
You cannot kill time|without injuring eternity.
You live and you learn-|or you don't live long.
You live in a deranged age, more deranged|that usual, because in spite of great|scientific and technological advances,|man has not the faintest idea of|who he is or what he is doing.||- Walker Percy
